The Importance of Being Playful

I had probably one of my favorite days ever today and I spent it acting childishly. I need to elaborate though, because I know I tend to the childish side more often than the average person but I actually mean it a little more literally today.

Today, I was invited by Discovery Place to attend a media/blogger day. I love Discovery Place. Of course, it is a great place to take kids to learn. There are awesome exhibits to teach and inspire, and that's all good and fine...but I think this place is seriously undervalued as far as adults go. How often do you go without kids? If you answered never, then I think you are long overdue for a visit.

First of all, kids are always learning, learning every day, people are always trying to reach them. While Discovery Place provided that in HD, the value I take away every single time I go there, is the gift of sore abs after nonstop laughter.

Of course I went through the Mummies of the World exhibit, and that is wonderful and exciting and awesome and educational, but I already did that. Today I came to play.

Today, the stresses of at work and home and personally were cast aside for an afternoon of playing like a child. I used the wind machine to make it rain foil confetti and then I danced in it. We made a stop animation using a snake. We smacked pots and pans around. We built. We explored. I walked on a rope bridge with heels on, fully aware that I was going to get stuck and completely joyful when it happened and I freed myself. I saw a giant tortoise. I told it I loved it. I made friends with a rainbow colored fish that followed my finger around the glass but not someone else's. I saw a seahorse zip around an aquarium like it was on crack while the other ones slept. I watched a grown man get his butt kicked at tug of war by three 7 year olds. He says he let them win but I'm not so sure...haha....I got tweeted to by an actual bird and it wasn't on my phone. I tweeted back and didn't even realize the joke potential til just now because I wasn't concerned with my phone. I WASNT CONCERNED WITH MY PHONE. Anyone who knows me knows that is some kind of miracle. I laughed and laughed and laughed. And laughed.

It is so important to realize the importance of laughter as a daily event..it is not even possible to laugh unless you forget your stress, if even just for a short while. Laughter makes your heart go faster, gets your blood flow going, and makes you feel wonderful. Being carefree and childlike is not a bad thing, in fact I think it is necessary as adults to make sure not to let that inner child wander too far away...I love mine. Actually, my inner child pretty much holds my hand and tugs me along behind it....sometimes I let her run, and other times I have to say no to things like another cupcake or staying up when I can't keep my eyes open.

It's true that someone has to be the adult, but I think being a child is completely underrated. If you can't laugh, if you can't have fun, if you can't let go and just be in the moment, then I can't imagine what you expect to be waiting for you at the end of the tunnel other than exhaustion.

It's okay if you lost track of your inner little one....you don't have to go to Discovery Place to find them, but it's a good start. If you're one of my international readers, then maybe try this: Go get some bubbles at a toy store. They're still super cheap. Imagine your problems leaving your body as you exhale and watch them float away from you and finally popping, disappearing into obscurity. It all goes downhill from there. Sideways. Hands across your chest and laughing like it's illegal. This I promise you.

Love you all the way to the moon
XX
S

Good Thing You Didn't Die, Dog and Other News

"Oh I'm just going to hide under this table because if the shit I eat doesn't kill me, my mom will. Because I'm an idiot."


I would like to thank my idiot dog Kito, who already put me through this bullshit, for ruining my big blog announcement because all I can think about is WTF, why don't you have any impulse control??? Seriously, I'm not even masking my vulgarity today. I'm not even going to link you to my big news on this blog because I don't want it sharing the same page, but I need to get my rage out ASAP because right now this psycho is hiding under the table because he senses my carnal urge to FREAKING END HIM.

No, it doesn't matter that I'm googling madly to see if he's going to die of eating raw chicken. (he's not) or that now I have to monitor his activity for the inevitable epic dump he's going to take, presumably all over a four thousand dollar persian carpet, like he did last week.

All I can see right now is red and if that dog has enough sense to hide under the damn table, then why can't he control his impulses to not be a jackass. I have no idea.

It's not like this dog isn't spoiled stupid. HE GETS INTO EVERYTHING. There is no dog whisperer that can help him without charging us thousands. I dont know how he is still finding socks, we don't even really have that many left but he is still pooping those out too.

I don't want him to have to go through surgery or being put down but mostly, I don't want ME or the kids to have to go through that again. I was a freaking mess!!! And this joker dog is incapable of reform. OMG.

FAIL!!!!

Swagger Starts Young and Other News

...in my pants. ( i had a different title that was funnier but this seems just wrong now, but because of my no erasing policy it has to stay)

Welcome to immature humor, times about 6 thousand because right up until my caffiene kicked in, I have been running on reserves so long I have gotten delirious.

I could use this blogging opportunity to tell you what happened in Nashville but instead, I'll just hold onto that until there's an official announcement from the entertainment company. That's right. I posted a tweet the other day about being about to pop with big news but then I got all these "omg are you pregnant" texts which completely confused me because I usually tweet and forget what I just said because I'm doing 16 other things. At least. NO I am not pregnant. Let's just get this straight, I will NEVER have that news to give you. Last time I had a child, there was no facebook, no myspace, and even if there was,the thought of posting the fact that something is in my uterus online freaks me out. I don't know how you people do those belly shots like that because I felt like a cow the whole time, and if I posted to you how much I actually ate, you'd think I was pregnant with 6 of them. Also, quite frankly, I know I'm going to offend someone here but I think 3D ultrasounds are creepy and the baby looks like a scary swamp alien IN EVERY CASE. So if you people ever wondered if there is a topic I really wouldn't go into if it was my situation, it's that one.

I really dont even talk about my kids that much because it's just private. They can be on facebook if they choose to, not because I posted how big baby's first turd was or why I'm dreading a parent teacher conference.

Also, one more point I would like to make is that being pregnant is basically just a sucessful FKK. If I said I was pregnant, then you would know what I did. So besides the fact that I'm done having kids, I really don't want people thinking of me naked. Which you probably are now, you sicko, just stop. It's nothing to write home about, I assure you. Any pic you see on facebook has probably been photoshopped to my satisfaction.

I love how I just re read this and I can take an idea or thought and just murder it into something different. Basically what I am saying is that I have boundaries, you guys!! Basically. I do have a no editing policy though so what ever randomness flies around and sticks here, is here for good. Hence typos and some TMI. It's kind of how I roll. All blog gangster like. Keeping it real.

I am actually just posting today because I promised Teague Publishing I would. They would like to bolt me to a chair and force me to write a book, and they believe that if they held caffeine hostage that it would produce legitimate writing. That's really cute, you guys. What will probably happen if you deprive me of caffeine is that you will end up with 50 pages consisting of threats, apologies, then worse threats, then pictures of sailboats,then sinking sailboats with you on them, then pictures of buildings on fire, then some hangman games because I'd be so all over the place I'd forget the word and be able to play that successfully alone, then I'd probably start eating pencils and then develop a diet plan that guarantees 20 lbs in your first 6 months or your money back** (see footnote). After about three days of that, I'll have figured out how to make the internet come back on using a paperclip, a hairball and a pocket mirror and I'll be back on twitter tagging you in malicious posts and offering a reward for my rescue. You guys are going to have to come up with some alternatives. I think giving me caffeine first would be a good start. Perhaps internet with some parental controls. Have your people call my people. #callme

What else....oh, I am putting my logo on a race car. It's really mostly because my son would think it's cool. I was over the moon when he told me he won a "my mom is cooler than your mom" round because one of the kids' friends saw me on TV.

**2 hour pause** cuz I got distracted and forgot I was blogging and doing other things like phone calls -- you didnt even notice though right?

Funny story....
Speaking of kids that think I am cool, I was distracted because a friend of mine just commented on a facebook post (this is actually relevant). This guy was a kid in my mom's class when she was a 4th or 5th grade teacher. I was in high school and I sometimes would spend the day with her if I had a day off. This kid was as gorgeous as a kid could be and all the little girlies loved him. The mack daddy of the 4th grade. Thickest eyelashes I'd ever seen and this kid knew it. This kid had so much game, I learned later in the day that he thought I was pretty because his little friends came back from recess elbowing each other and he's got a cocky little look to him. Also all the little girls suddenly stopped being nice to me. Cattiness starts at an early age and so does cockiness. I'm sure this boy who I will call LW, didn't have any other way to be because I heard how gorgeous his little face was nonstop the first day my mom got her new students. His baby sister and brother were beautiful children too and my mom was friends with the mom.

Anyway, fast forward 300 years later when facebook is invented and I get a friend request from the angel child himself. I couldn't wait to call my mom and tell her that her favorite little angel face had found me on facebook. I mean, I'm sorry, but that was a huge compliment to me that this kid remembered teacher's hot daughter that long ago and then told me I was still as hot as he remembered. Of course my mom got embarrassed and told his mom who I think told him not to be bothering Mrs. Farrell's daughter and causing chatter amongst the same teachers that were there so long ago gossiping about what a little heartbreaker this boy was going to be.

Anyway, I haven't seen LW since that day in 4th grade, but it does make my mom a little itcy that we're facebook friends. We dont even really talk, but it's a great story. You probably had to be there though to see all those little 4th grade girls with their noses upturned and arms crossed and that little kid full of eyelashes knowing he had every single one of them including his teacher on a string. Basically this kid was the Biebs of the 4th grade. Good times.

Well, I have derailed enough today, but I'll be back soon because I have a really, really cool update to share. Im just waiting for the GO...

Love and snuggly creatures
S

** DISCLAIMER: eating pencils will give you lead poisoning and you will probably die never get your money back. You call it trickery, I call it good business sense. #callme

I Am Bad People.

Whoops-a-daisy!!


Hello my little bloggy minions. How are you? I'm doing great. I'm actually overreacting all morning because I have to get a cortisone shot in my knee but that's instead of surgery so I should just be thankful for that right? Of course I'm feeling neglected because I have no one to come with me and hold my hand and tell me happy things with the promise of a happy meal later since I was so brave, but that's ok. I'll get through it. I asked if I could take my own valium before hand and I heard laughing in the background and then a clearing of throat...you know the one where you're trying to stop laughing and be professional? I heard that and then "yesthasfineseeyoutomorrow" click. HAHA. Yes, I grossly over react when it comes to needles and "procedures" in general. But I'm actually ok. It's probably more of the attention whore in me that is acting up. DOWN WHORE!!!

I'm pretty sure this shot is going to hurt to Hades though because I deserve it to. I just found out today that I am kind of an a-hole. And that's really bad because I don't like a-holes that much.

Lucy has some splaining to do.

About two weeks ago my friend in Texas (who is a little socially off, think Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory.) told me he had started dating a new girlfriend and didn't really know her that well and blah blah blah, and good for you, etc. I think I was painting my nails. He's always dating a girl, she always dumps him like a month later because she can't handle the fact that he chews with his mouth open or has irritible bowel syndrome and farts constantly even in restaurants or something to that effect so I'm sorry, but it was redundant. (this friend is not on facebook because he doesn't know how it works). Well, I asked him what her name was so I could facebook stalk her (I am protective of my friends, no matter how uncouth and farty they are in public, so I always facebook stalk. Don't judge, employers do it too before they hire you. Sidebar: that's why I'm self employed) ..A D H D!! sorry....

Anyways so I pull up this girl's photo and text it to him. She's kind of hot. I give it a week. If I had been listening instead of deciding whether I wanted to wear Skankho Red or go all edgy and try IhateMyselfBlack nail polish, I would have heard they'd already been dating a month. My bad.

He asks, "oh my gosh, that's Mandy, where did you get that?" Duh, facebook, and you just told me her last name, like you always do, geez..no one ever learns....

I actually opted not to paint my nails at all because I was starting to get sleepy and he was going on about "do you know her?" etc because I used 2 percent of brain power and found the picture in like 20 seconds. So I told him that I found her on a high dollar escort site and that she likes long walks on the beach, threesomes with other men, S & M, and isn't afraid to spank a bad boy.

He sounded really confused, and I was sleepy so I changed the subject and ended the call, rolled over, went to sleep.

....two weeks later.......


He calls me and tells me he and Mandy are on the outs big time because he's just trying to help her get her life on track and he didn't want her to feel judged,but he thought he could help her by recommending a sex addiction/deviant counselor and possibly help her get on her feet and stop selling her body and that b*** was so ungrateful and so far in denial that they just kept fighting nonstop until he was so stressed out that he couldnt "reach her" and they broke up.

Oh hell. I forgot about the joke and forgot to say just kidding because I had my face in my nail polish drawer pissed that I couldn't find my "What's a Tire Jack?" Pink because that's my favorite one.

So they broke up. I'm still trying to figure out how to make it up to him but not willing to travel to texas and have a farty, open mouth chewed lunch. I can be a great friend from afar.

I said sorry like three times but he insisted he has a good radar and it doesn't matter (no he doesn't.) and that it was meant to be (no I totally stole your thunder dude) and why can't all girls be like me (that would be a nightmare). So I laughed at him. Cuz that's what I'm best at and do you know what he asked then? "Are you going to blog this?"

"Can I?"

"I don't know what a blog thing is so be my guest."

BAM.
You're welcome.

Here Comes the Sun Little Tweeties

My Friend Jessica Says HELLO, HOT MEN!! Ok I said that. She needs to date. Let's get this ball rolling.


Good morning!! I am doing better today . Maybe everyone just needs a little time out to pout for a while. I would like to point out, however, that I didn't just sit around and pout around my house during my funk. I basically just outstretched my arms to my twitter family and recieved hugs.

Do you believe that hugs and support are medicine? I do, I believe that it is just as much medicine and sunshine and prayer can be depending on your situation and what remedy your heart desires most. To be honest, I think I just needed a little bit of a rest. And some retail therapy didn't hurt.

Monday's highlight was taking my Platinum best friend Jessica and forcing her to get into hair and makeup and we did an impromptu photoshoot at the Saloon at the NC Music Factory. You should follow them, Richard Hilyard, my friend that is the manager was all for letting us pose on his bar with Jack Daniels. @RichardHilyard @SaloonNCMF @NCMusicfactory. (what? you know networking is the key to success right? Link up, link up, and interact!)

Jessica is my assistant to my business and she is having a big of a rough time right now with her divorce. So, I pouted about myself in my heart that I felt was in an empty cold lightless fishtank later because Jessica needed some love. We did her up beautifully, then whisked her to the Saloon for some sassy pictures. I took all the pictures. I am professionally trained but I'm very lazy and not technical, so much of my skills aren't retained and I know the best photographers would criticize, but I'm proud of the pictures I took of Jessica because she really needed a pick-me-up. Then we sent them to her ex husband, which could have been a bad idea but he said the nicest thing he'd said to her in years. She looked like a super model! So big ups to that decision, right?
I will post the pics, promise, I just wanna get the writing out of the way.

Then, Tuesday, which was yesterday, ( I am not trying to sound like Rebecca Black, I just really have a hard time with my days running together when I'm out of commission) Anyways, so yesterday, we went to the mall and romped around in Belk because I heard they can fix my favorite basic black Very Prive' Christian Louboutin heels. They are my absolute favorite shoes besides my Uggs. I will discuss those later as well.

Anyway we got to Belk and they said they have seen worse and that they can fix them for like barely any dollars. And then we met these awesome salesgirls and I was so excited that people were being nice to me after that damn pain in the ass hairdresser phantom commenter guy who ruined my parade that I was like on a high.

You will not believe what I did at Victoria's Secret. I think I blogged about this once. Anyway, I was buying Jessica some bras because she is single and she needs to feel sexy and Vickie's is the best way to do it. No more Target bras, dude. You need to treat those puppies like gold since that's all these damn men seem to check out first anyway. Not saying that's a great thing but it's just nature. So the saleslady mentions to me , because I'm in their store all the time, that they got new seamless panties. Like they are made out of some kind of space age material that are silky and they hold you in at the same time. Well actually one day I put my underwear on backwards and then left it that way because it worked better. They are essentially cut like hip huggers or granny panties, but if you wear them backwards, the high part lifts up your butt cheeks SO high and what is supposed to be the front part flattens your stomach better than spanx and keeps it seamelessly and totally in check. So I demonstrated and they said "Holy Shit that's amazing" So either they placated me and made fun of me in the break room or Victoria's Secret is going to unveil a new line of ass lifting underwear that is going to start a revolution and I won't see a dime of it.

I'm telling you, girls, try it. I would post a picture of before and after but that violates an ethics clause that my husband and I have in place about body parts on my blog. But I'm telling you. Go buy the seamless hip hugger panties and put them on backward. You'll thank me for it.

So then after that Jessica was in a hurry to get to her kids' performance and didn't have time to clean up so I yanked one of my 9302493280 dresses from my closet and made her glammed up in less than 20 minutes. And that includes a mini photo shoot , the pics of which I will include.

So after she left, I was lonely and felt sad again and griped on twitter and wondered if the angry anonymous blog pisser onner got his flowers and chocolate yet. I have recieved no thank you yet. I bet he smashed them. Seriously, who could punch a sunflower in the face?

I woke up happy because it was raining and that means I could wear my brand new hunter wellies boots today and I even have the changeable fold over socks to wear with them too!!! Today I felt saucy so I wore the leopard print socks and this awesome 60's Jackie Kennedy cape-style coat that I got yesterday that has a big bow with my leather driving gloves (that also have a bow) AND my pearls because I wanted to be fancy and because because David wanted a ride to work. I was driving on the way back and I noticed a lady wearing a lime green and pink rain jacket with matching Wellies too and I wondered if the rain made her day too!! It's so much fun to be a girl!!!

Here are Jessica's pics!

here's another two from the Saloon!

and then here are some from her RED day

PS, her divorce finalizes soon and it dragged on a while so BOYS SHES SINGLE. You must have a job. Must like kids (she has 3 under 11). Must be able to afford to take her to dinner, and no damn drama. And if I dont like you, you're out of luck. :)

Anyways, hope you liked the lovely shoot I had with Jessica which brightened both of our spirits. And if you have a hateful comment to post, just know that I have cop friends that work in technicological stuff that can pull IP addresses from the comments and match them to computers.Because NC just passed a law about online harrassment! TADA!! Anywhoo have a great day! I LOVE YOU!!

The Double Edged Sword Pokes A Little

Update: Yes I see spelling and grammar errors. I need to make dinner for my family and cannot edit right now. Therefore, I'll get to it later
who am I kidding, fugg it.

____
I often am in awe about how much readership this blog actually gets, especially since it was just kind of a way for me to vent things or laugh at things and I share it and you click it and we all have a laugh, and haters be damned, we all have a pretty good time. I don't really worry too much about misspellings or run on sentences here, I just GO , and I feel better later and sometimes you tell me you do too.

Later, I connected to Twitter, and not too much later, here we are today,with a nearly 12 thousand person following and readership coming from Belguim, Turkey, the Netherlands and most recently Singapore. I don't know who the hell is reading from these places but welcome. It's really amusing but rewarding because I have made my mark somewhere in a place I will probably never travel to. So big Dr. Pepper cheers on that, eh?

My personal business has gone kind of crazy and I have the liberty of not working with people who aren't a good fit for me. AKA people who aren't comfortable with the open book that is me. That's the beautiful think about having your own business and being somewhat of a personality in this city - - which is what I have become. I am not a celebrity. I don't read the news, and I've only been on TV to model, I've only had my pictures in magazined next to my writing and my PR team is me. However, through that I have been invited to host and emcee events and I get stopped at Starbucks when the person processing my card sees my name and remarks, "Is this your actual name?" Um yeah, dude, it's on my card. "I follow you on Twitter!! OMG so nice to meet you , you're so funny!" Then the other people in line want to know what the hell is going on and so they get my card too and say they're glad to meet me. It's all very amusing and humbling to me because I'm just me.

There is a downside to this though. There are the days when the days aren't so good and I need to have a vent day. There are days when I feel like someone hurt my feelings and it was undeserved and I want to complain for support and get all the E-hugs I can get and take advantage of my huge online family, but there's some kind of unwritten rule that as a "personality" now, I can't go venting and letting all my less than happy business bleed out. And embarrassingly enough, some of the things I go through aren't tragedies, but I'm such a dramatic girlie girl by nature, that I do tend to panic over things that in comparison to what other people are going through, it seems petty and I would look like an idiot complaining.

The past week has been overwhelmingly stressful for me, personally, and the biggest kicker is that there is really nothing stressful going on in my life. I just feel extreme anxiety, like someone is pushing on my chest and I can't breathe, and I don't sleep at night, and it's just eating me up and the fact that I don't even know why brings me guilt. I should be on top of the world, but lately, I just want to burrow under it - - just until it passes.

I really wish I could vent about what is really going on, as stupid and petty as it is, but the truth is, is that I'm too visible now and I feel like my wings are now pinned. What should I do? Create another anonymous blog? Go to therapy? The very reason I created this is now unavailable to me.

Maybe I'm being a baby, but I have faith it'll pass and I'll be back to normal soon.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

Love you guys.

XX Shannon