Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Where's This Going?

Death of a Louboutin....How One Shoe Found its Sad Ending and the Murder Mystery that Could Have Been DISCLAIMER!! this web publishing thing is pissing me off because this looks all like one big stupid run on but becase a) I dont have the effing time to eff with this anymore I'm allowing it and b) well that's kind of how i roll anyway, don't get all comment shitty about proper spacing because I'm too pretty to learn HTML coding. Or go to prison. Which would be pretty much the same. Well, here's a little update for you new followers or some that haven't been following this blog for a while. Oh wait, good news!! I haven't been blogging as much because I am so busy! You little winner, you! I'm going to leave this blog open ended because I'm doing a Comedy Zone show tomorrow night 5/31 at 8pm and i'm going to tell this story. If I were a magazine, it would be the TMI kind and the cover would go something like this: TOP WAYS TO HIDE MONEY/PURCHASES FROM SPOUSE FOR NO REASON SLEEP SHOPPING - IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!! YOUR HUSBAND PAID RETAIL?? (you may want to sit down) YOUR DOG SHAT WHAT? Tales of Canine Random Object Consumption and how it can be used for goods and services! PLASTIC SURGERY FOR YOUR NEXT VACATION - Blissfuly spend several days/weeks blissfully unaware of the mutiny in your household (or at least pretend to!) Drama in Real Life: Are YOUR Painters in conspiracy with your shrink? Fun ways a simple service can scar you for life!! This blog is threefold and I'm shamelessly admitting it... 1) Yes, I'll update my blog soon - CHECK 2) You should definitely come to the Comedy Zone at the NC Music Factory 5/31 8pm mention this blog and they'll let you in free. I shit you not. Call now. 3) My longwinded tale will make more sense if you have some key points to follow in case my ADHD takes me somewhere else. I will also be using it as a field guide in case your laser gaze and pressure to be amused makes me forget what I want to say. If you're new here, join the party at @shannondrauch or visit my website at If you're wondering who the hell I am, and why I'm relevant, well it's because if Twitter had nuts mine would be huge and I've cleverly commercialized my twitter batmannery into something that pays for my shoe addiction and my propensity for attention whoring.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

So much news, here's a debrief

First of all, I would like to apologize for taking forever to update this blog again. I have been so busy. I lost an assistant, and in leiu of hire another one, I am merging with another company. More on that soon and I couldn't be more proud of and to be working with this woman. If you went on and tried to order the whole package, you would get Amelia Keith. I cant really give you a full recap that will fill in all the holes so I'll start with this: I was recently honored on the coveted 25 Most Stylish people list in Charlotte by Charlotte Style Magazine. I was so flattered and proud and excited. Here is a picture from that magazine spread!
I am on the far right and was shot by the fabulous Erin L. Hubbs. She made me feel so comfortable, it was one of the easiest shoots ever. I struggle during photo shoots because I have some body image issues, and this is why I ultimately decided to go ahead with the liposuction/tummy tuck surgery that I have wanted BADLY for like, ten years. You all knew me when I was a diet and excercise fanatic. It did nothing for that kangaroo pouch. Anyway, in the midst of gaining new clients and new ventures and new friends, I over extended myself and ended up having two minor heart attacks. Very minor, but enough to cause concern to slow down. (which is why incorporating Amelia into my life as a close friend (we clicked immediately) and business partner (she has her SH*T together) couldn't have come at a better time. I still went through with the liposuction and tummy tuck and am keeping a blog about that here. Do you guys remember that time in the hospital when I was wedding planning and I had that concussion and I was so doped up I ordered like two thousand dollars of candy for our candy buffet at our Ritz Carlton wedding and had no memory of it? Yeah, well, I am afraid the same thing happened again. Two days in a row shoes I don't remember ordering have showed up on my doorstep and I'm freaking out. I have no idea how much money I spent, but I assure you, either it goes back or I have to ebay things in my closet if I get attached. That's the rule in the house. I'm extremely exhausted right now and just wanted to check in with you and tell you I was okay and to include you all in my fun blog. I know some people think all that TMI is tacky, but this is who I am....I'm a writer, and I hate to be stifled. So if you ever wanted to know what LIPO and TUMMY TUCK are like, and what kind of dumb mistakes can happen, enjoy reading. I'll be back with you soon when I'm back to normal. Love you all the way to the moon, MISSED YOU!!! xx Shannon I have also decided to begin pursuing my dream to write finish and publish a book. But honestly, I really am not allowed to be typing right now so I need to slip back into bed. All the love in the world---- S