Monday, March 19, 2012

The London Blog!

Hi Everyone!!

Well because of my incessant tweeting and facebooking, people in the US and (at last I counted) 23 foreign countries knew I was in London. So it's kind of redundant to tell you that I was there, but in case you were on a digital hiatus,hey GUESS WHAT? I went to London for almost a week. I was all by myself though and I felt chatty, so I just tweeted away!

I went because my husband had a business trip and I tagged along. I also met up with some business contacts for the PR side of my company, so that was another reason, but it was mostly just to get out of the country.

London feels like a second home to me. I love it so much! I used to go all the time when I worked for that big airline in their international division. Back when I was International Shannon. That was fun. That's another blog. (no really, I had to take it down! haha)

So, because London wasn't new to me, I didn't really do ALL the touristy stuff. I was also severely jet lagged, or really lazy, and didn't really get up in the mornings. I mostly ordered room service and went back to sleep. I don't get room service at home though, so instead of spending lots of money shopping I spoiled myself a different way.

During the day, I just walked off all those lazy calories and tweeted pictures. One of the publishers of a fashion magazine is a friend of mine, so I was tweeting her pictures of Street Style and she'd retweet it from the magazine. It was great fun, but the problem was, the big giant camera made me look like a crazy paparazzi so I ditched that immediately. You can't take pictures of people you don't know with a camera like that on the street.

I was having fun though so I came back out with my iPhone which has a great camera. Except then I realized I looked like an even bigger creeper taking pictures with my cell phone. I got some funny looks, and I would say, "OMG I love your outfit!" and I would get looked at like I was completely nuts. I totally understand. So then , I decided I would go inside a restaurant and take pictures through the window. Which worked out fine when the people on the outside who I was taking pictures of didn't catch me but then the people on the INSIDE thought I was insane.

Also, when I saw someone I liked on the street, by the time I got my iphone out and the camera function enabled, I would miss them and I didnt want to chase them down with my phone , because, again, Cuh--razzyy!!

I realized very quickly that London is SO stylish that if I missed one stylish person, there would be another one to replace them within seconds. So, I held my iphone up kind of haphazardly and left it on video function pointing straight ahead and I'd walk a few blocks and then I'd go find an internet hotspot, do screen captures, and then tweet those. That worked better and made me look less stalkery.

I love clothing as an expression of personality, and London is such a great place for classy self expression. I just love people watching. In fact I did that more than anything. I love seeing people in their every day lives. I love it when I can see in people's windows and see their decorating or see someone washing dishes. I swear, I'm not trying to be creepy, I just love to see people who are worlds away living their life as normal as me.

That's another reason why I love working with my musician clients and taping them before and during shows. I love to see the normal in them, the thing that makes us all connected, the way they get so excited about finding a $5 on the pavement, or how something reminds them of a song they want to write the way something makes me think that that would make a funny blog. People are people and we're all connected. I just adore finding that connection.

I also went to the Olympic Village and saw where the Olympics will be held. I closed my eyes and thought WOW!! So many people will have life changing moments on this property, right here where I'm standing, magic will happen.

It's like standing in the streets of the City of London that burnt down long ago, and seeing the beautiful rebuild. Standing in that very spot where it looked like the world was over...look at it now!!

I have stood in the same spot where King Henry VIII knelt on one knee and promised Anne Boleyn that he'd love her for the rest of her life...and knowing that he kept that promise...she just didn't know that her life would end when she fell out of his favor. No one wants to fall out of favor - -I think we all have that in us.

Being in London is just cathartic for me, I had been facing some stresses at home, at work, and also lots of good things too that are just hard to process. I never knew that I would be where I am at now. If you told Shannon just 3 short years ago what her life would be like, I'd never have believed it.

I just get caught up in how wonderful life has been to me when I'm in that magical city. I have definitely experienced the anguish of my inner house burning down. I know what it feels like to feel like a Queen and then fall out of favor suddenly. I also know that it's important to push past the rejection, the bad, that nasty feeling in your gut that tells you to just sleep as long as you can, and then count down the hours til it's time to sleep again. I have felt crazy before. And I have given up, as much as a person can give up, and I have been saved from myself.

There is magic in every little thing, good in everyone, a miracle around every corner, and the bad things that happen are there to make us appreciate that magic even more when it returns.

Breathing in London makes me feel alive, makes me glad I'm alive. I remember looking at the pavement and thinking that when the sun hits it just right, it looks like beautiful glitter..not like tar and glass all smashed up. It's a beautiful mosaic of broken, melted down things turned into something else we all take for granted.

London makes me remember all the things I once took for granted. I hope you all have a place like that to go when things are rough, difficult, or just too much. Even if I can't go back there, I know it's there.

I just really, very much love that city. And I had a really good time. Since you asked. LOL.

Anyway, right before I got on the trip I found out I got named one of Charlotte's 25 Most Stylish (presumably for my shoe collection! ha!) and that was such a nice compliment!! I'm thrilled to start a few east cost tour dates for a very big musician client, and then I'm thrilled for about a thousand other things coming up.

I think that that's what's the most important thing, is looking forward to something!! So maybe if you are having one of those bad days, just always make sure you have something in the near future to look forward to! It works wonders to get you out of the bed in the morning. It's like mental coffee!!

OH!! And I'm also excited because I learned that I love Spanish Tapas and Indian food!! First time for both!!! I also saw Legally Blonde: The Musical and of course you know I used to be blonde, but I also have felt like an Elle Woods a time or two. Have you?? It's such a good show, and sad to see it close in April! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ELLES SHOES!!!! And I nearly cried when Bend and Snap came on. I mean, not because it's emotionally moving, but because it got the crowd so excited, and there was so much positive energy in the room, I just felt sparkly, like I had glitter in my bloodstream! (no I wasn't drinking!)

Well, I've babbled enough today. I love you guys all the way to the moon!!

All the best,

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Friday, March 9, 2012

I Should Probably Get Better At Mornings.

I hate mornings. Probably more than Garfield. In order for the coffee to actually start working when I need to be in action, there has to be someone that can actually get up, make the coffee and make sure I drink it at least 30 minutes before any productivity or fuctioning is expected.

That is not going to happen in our house because everyone else is bad at mornings too. Not as bad as me though. Mornings are inconvenient and undesireable to everyone else in my house. To me they are the freaking antichrist.

I just need to confess some cardinal mommy sins I have committed , with the worst one to date finishing the list.

1) I live like a 5 minute walk from the school. It's literally two streets behind my house and if I could cut through neighbor's backyards I'd be there AND back in 5 minutes. Except that I wake up barely in time to get my son out the door and I always end up driving. We do everything at night, bath , pick out clothes, whatever. I'm still not able to pull it together in time to walk this kid (our baby who is 7 and not old enough to walk himself, the rest of our kids have rides) to school. Not that I would if I had time because I effing hate mornings and that would mean I would need to get dressed because this is Dilworth and all of the mothers have been up since 530, had yoga, put out, made everyone breakfast, applied makeup and created the cure to the fake stomach ache. Screw you.

I invented this rule that my son has to have his daily banana because it makes him big and strong and smart. LIES. The daily banana is because it's portable, quick and it's actually not a cookie or something else I would probably permit based on the availability of a banana and an assessment of how late we are. I mean come on, a cookie is better than no breakfast. So yes, I do get up early enough to make sure the kid gets the banana. I get like half a silver star on that one. Maybe.

I'm still not going to walk to school because it's all I can do to put shoes on and get my teeth brushed first. Nope, we're driving.

2) Because we live a 30 second drive to school, I will sometimes let my son ride in the front seat. I know, I know, (hiding from tomatoes from all you perfect moms) YES I know all the traffic and safety violations I am committing. My ex husband was a cop. I get this constantly. I am such an asshole. Fine. Sometimes he gets the front. Sometimes it's the only way I can get out the door and get him to eat the bananaa. I will drive so super carefully, you see, because I am a very good driver. And he will wear his seat belt in the front. And the airbag is deactivated because I so often do this. I mean barely ever. DONT JUDGE. It's literally 30 seconds and one left turn!!! I mean we have to get there on time or I'm going to have to actually go into the office looking like a total not even hot mess and sign him in. I can't do that. I swear I drive SO careful.

I buy things for the bake sale and I don't even try to hide it. I actually know how to bake. It's just that my time management skills failed me and I forgot until 10pm that I needed to send cupcakes. Thank God Harris Teeter is still up! BAM cupcakes!!!

Sometimes I get really frustrated at the end of homework. Sometimes I just say the answer after we've worked on it a really really long time. I show him how I got it and stuff but I just get frustrated.

I don't make friends with the other moms. Because they are all like 45. Anyone that can afford to live in my neighborhood waited to have kids until success came first. I am very much the only young wife, not the only banker's wife, I'm sure, but the only one under 40, and no doubt the only one in my very early 30's. I don't relate. I don't belong to the country club and I am a joke at tennis. I can't scrapbook because that's like trying to organize a room except the room is the paper and all the stickers are all my kids damn toys that I'd rather just throw in the trash because you dont even play with that anymore anyway!! I don't think it's fun to go make copies for the teacher or read a book to the class. I can't read out loud without saying words wrong and mispronouncing because if there's anything worse than a bunch of perfect moms LOLing at me it's their kids doing it because I said orgasm instead of organism and all their moms are writing letters now about how upset they are with the inappropriate language. SIGH.

I dont want to watch everyone else's kid in the music extravaganza. I want my kid to perform and then I want to leave. Cacophony literally hurts my ears. I also think it's really crappy that this school will have a multi grade play and schedule this big performance and then without telling you put a PTA meeting in the first half hour. The moms in the PTA are so control freaky that my opinion isn't going to matter anyway and things usually work out the way I would have voted anyway. Should we have white flour crust in the pizza or wheat? I dont care enough to lose sleep over it.
The worst part about the sneak attack PTA meeting is the fact that the microphones are all set up for the concert or whatever so the teacher is just yelling over grandma and grandpa trying to figure out what is going on and everyone's 3 year old brother and sister crying and screaming from boredom. In a gym. Where the sound bounces all over the place. This is not working for me. I want it in a quiet room or I dont want to go to PTA meetings. SORRY.

And the final , sucky, you're all going to persecute me today thing that I did that I need to get out is that even though I got the memo three days ago, I forgot to have my son make a going away card for his teacher because his old teacher is back from maternity leave. The paper said HOMEMADE card. Crap. I even set my alarm on my iphone but I silenced it while I was making dinner last night. It was really good by the way. Chicken Scallopini with alfredo sauce and spring vegetables and goat cheese and angel hair. I'm not totally inept.

Oh, sorry I'm delaying. So I printed out this card from the computer and I got out the crayons and I got my son his daily banana with 5 minutes to spare til the bell (because I didnt hear the alarm so we are late now) and I tell him, please write "You're the best" on the card. He doesn't want to. He wants to eat the banana. He wants to ask me what he and his sisters are doing today. He wants to show me this dance he just made up in his dream. So I took my right hand and I wrote YOURE THE BEST in shitty handwriting (I'm left handed) and then I grabbed his hand and made him sign his name and then draw a smiley face on the outside because if I don't, I'm going to have to walk him in myself looking like a busted mess, and in order for that to happen, I'm going to have to get dressed and that's going to make him seriously late and possibly miss something educational.

There I said it.

Now I will spend the rest of the day ducking parental daggars and thunderbolts that are all probably forming in your heads right now but that's the way things are since I started my business. I start at 9 and I can only go til 2 because then I start driving and picking up and activities and grocery shopping and then dad comes home and now Im a wife, now dinner, and homework, and trying NOT to stress about all the things I didn't get done workwise, so I finally fall asleep at midnight. We once had a nanny, but when I stopped working at the airline, it seemed like a silly expense and why couldn't I do all these things myself. Well I might suck at all of them, but I try really hard to do them. I think that might be what counts. I'd be so much better if mornings werent so hard. (big sigh)

I feel better now. Don't get your ranty pants in a wad because I know the perfect moms probably suck at being impulsive and letting go of control. Which I do not. They have to suck at something...dont they?

(5 minutes later update)
Ok so I feel ocmpelled to tell you what I AM good at now.
Cuddling on the couch with my kids and telling them I love them lots
Being supportive when they are sad.
Cooking amazing delicious meals (at lunch or night)
Winning the cool mom contest because they love seeing me on TV orsitting with me in the front row at the coolest concert (age appropriate)
planning awesome vacations
driving forgotten items to school without being too jerky about it
EMPATHY - thank you DEREK from TEAGUE PUBLISHING do you really want to edit a book I write, really? I just broke my no editing policy to set you straight. If that wasnt the right typo then oh well because. Oh well. BAH!!

love, love, love
and i will never be the cool mom that lets them have beer and I dont like letting them watch dirty shows.
Also it might have been a bad idea to take my 15 year old daughter to Ke$ha and put her and her friends in the front row because I didn't know actually the lyrics and also there was a dancing penis. I'm working on this stuff. Amen the end.

This blog is already the most revolutionary in my blogging. I have busted in and edited it 4 times.

So that counts for something. Ok that is all.

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