Monday, February 6, 2012

Good Thing You Didn't Die, Dog and Other News

"Oh I'm just going to hide under this table because if the shit I eat doesn't kill me, my mom will. Because I'm an idiot."

I would like to thank my idiot dog Kito, who already put me through this bullshit, for ruining my big blog announcement because all I can think about is WTF, why don't you have any impulse control??? Seriously, I'm not even masking my vulgarity today. I'm not even going to link you to my big news on this blog because I don't want it sharing the same page, but I need to get my rage out ASAP because right now this psycho is hiding under the table because he senses my carnal urge to FREAKING END HIM.

No, it doesn't matter that I'm googling madly to see if he's going to die of eating raw chicken. (he's not) or that now I have to monitor his activity for the inevitable epic dump he's going to take, presumably all over a four thousand dollar persian carpet, like he did last week.

All I can see right now is red and if that dog has enough sense to hide under the damn table, then why can't he control his impulses to not be a jackass. I have no idea.

It's not like this dog isn't spoiled stupid. HE GETS INTO EVERYTHING. There is no dog whisperer that can help him without charging us thousands. I dont know how he is still finding socks, we don't even really have that many left but he is still pooping those out too.

I don't want him to have to go through surgery or being put down but mostly, I don't want ME or the kids to have to go through that again. I was a freaking mess!!! And this joker dog is incapable of reform. OMG.


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At February 6, 2012 at 12:54 PM , Blogger GreenEyedGirl said...

Shannon, come on!! he's so cute!!

At February 24, 2012 at 3:42 PM , Anonymous Sheryl "Blue October" Fleming said...

This is hilarious Shannon. I have an 11 year old dog (and on old cat too). When he was young he ate an ENTIRE 12 inch starfish my deceased grandmother gave me. Now he is incontinent, half deaf and has dementia. There is absolutely no point buying rugs or replacing the carpet or furniture. I'm waiting this one out, and hoping someone will do the same for me when I get to that point.


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