Sunday, November 27, 2011

Crazy Dreams I have.....

I started taking Lexapro a few weeks ago because I have trouble sleeping and I also have anxiety (ya think!). It seems to be working because I haven't had any of those PMDD meltdowns since I started taking it. One of the side effects I have is jacked up dreams. Not like the trazodone I used to take for sleep though, those were like freaky dreams of weird scary stuff. The Lexapro makes me have very vivid, creative dreams. And LOTS of them.

So one of my friends is really into fashion and shopping. Ok A LOT of them are but this one is like the Grand Queen of it.

Ok, it starts with us going to a blog convention and we've been assigned to tweet and/or blog about certain products. So we get there, and there's a sign for each person and we have to spend the night in sleeping bags under our sign while we try out whatever product we've been assigned to review for this blog/tweet retreat conference thing or whatever it is. In the dream, I'm thinking, what am i DOING here and how the hell did they get Sunshine to show up? I'm naming her that.

So Sunshine is there and she's been assigned to review sensible shoes and a hair salon inside of a department store. I've been assigned to review blueberry jello. Whatever. And the Queen of England is also there, sitting next to me at elementary school lunch tables while we talk about our products. I don't know why she was there, but I was poking my jello with a fork and noting its wiggle-ness ( I mean how much can you say about Jello) and I realize at the same time the Queen does that my jello isn't on a plate, it's on a lunch tray, and that's kind of gross. So she picks up her tray and goes to sit somewhere else with someone who doesn't play in Jello. Cool. I'm embarrassed, but distracted at what Sunshine is doing.

We are supposed to go on camera and give video interviews about what we think about the products. She's reviewing sensible shoes at a dapartment store as well as their hair salon. Except she's bucked the system and she's like, ok, sensible shoes are no fun and who goes to a mall hair salon to get their hair done?!

Then, she starts going all over the place going "OMG!! This is CASHMERE!! (grabbing a vest nearby) It's HALF OFF!! HALF OFF!!" and she goes through the store while the camera follows her and she starts grabbing up things she wants to buy. She finds shiny shoes and grabs them and is like "Sensible shoes? No! PRETTY SHOES!! They're beautiful and they're a STEAL from this designer!!" She takes a pic with her phone and tweets that and then declares that they are her shoes.

The video producer gets really mad and shuts her down and they peel her out of the layers of clothes that she's found (she has put on every single article she likes) but she's hanging onto the shoes. So they arrest her.

She's very calm, but she gets her two Louis Vuitton purses off her arm and pulls out dust bags and makes the cops wait to cuff her while she puts a pad down, sets down both bags, pulls out dust bags, and white gloves and very gently puts her purses in the dust bags, explaining to the police how to care for them while she is being processed. She then tosses the shoes to me and tells me to "protect the legacy" and they take her away.

The Queen of England is clapping and Nickleback is playing "Far Away" and I am frustrated because I still have nothing to say about Blue Jello, and I'm embarrassed that I made an ass of myself in front of the Queen. Nickleback asks me to come with them and I am like, wait how did you get here from Detroit so fast? And then Nickleback says "Where are we anyway?"

And the Queen says "The F if I know, but those shoes she has will send us all home"

And that's all I remember.

That's CRAZY.

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