You've been Pre-Napped
It's not a prenup. It's a pre-nap blog. So this may be all swimmy and exhausted and really foggy like my head right now, but you knew that I was like this before we started this relationship and so you don't get to complain. Or something. My goodness where to start.
I had no idea starting and carrying out a business would take up so much time. I don't sleep at night very well because I think I have anxiety, and during the day, I'm running around being charming and signing up clients. Yesterday I realized that enough is enough. I am only taking x clients.
I'm already maxing out all my waking hours between the business and the press stuff. I hired someone to help me handle my schedule and with the housework. In addition to already having a cleaning lady. The anxiety leads me to not sleep, and then the delirious adrenaline rush carries me through the day because I love what I do and I'm so excited and I have all this great stuff on the horizon but I'm not going to be able to manage it if I don't slllowwwww dowwwnn.
I am so glad that I am doing so well, but I am terrible at managing my time. The hours at night when I can't sleep aren't productive hours so I can't really switch my work to that time. I kind of just sit there and stare at the wall and let my mind go wherever it wants until it finally settles down enough so I can lay down. It's like I always have one eye open - my mind's eye. I want to duct tape it shut and some how unplug the brain activity. I can't take sleep aids, they give me nightmares. I always dream of dead people, and it detail and it freaks me out and I wake up more exhausted.
Today, I spent 5 hours agonizing over an article that I thought would be easy, but my overanalyzing made all the words on the screen jumble around and I kept losing track of my sentences. I also ran a biker off the road and into some sprinklers. Ok, well that was kind of funny. He was hogging the road and I went to pass him, legally, safely, but then another car turned on to the road mid-pass coming the opposite direction so I closed the gap between us a little and the guy freaked out and drove right through sprinklers. I didn't know that happened though until he caught up with me at a stop sign and then palm slapped my window and gave me a look that said "I hope you die horribly". I was very confused and then my stepdaughter was like, you didn't do anything wrong, you made him go through the sprinklers. On the road. Not even like, in the grass, just within the sprinklers reach.
What is he so mad for? He probably need cooling off. No need to smack the car. But whatever, it's the loaner car from Mercedes Benz ,so I didn't feel like I cared much , he wont see that car again often. But I'll see him. And not that I would but because I'll be incognito when I get my actual car fixed, I'll make sure to drive through a puddle and deserve that go to hell look.
Wow, that's mean. I'm like a cranky toddler. I have been intending to take a nap since 1130, but now one hour later, I am still screwing around online. No wonder I have so many headaches.
So, I'm happy to say that I can focus on the clients I have and not take any more for a while. (besides people I've already approached who havent signed, I have a little wiggle room) But I will not go finding new clients for all of September and I will from now on schedule break time so that I don't for reals run some one off the road while I'm driving. Hopefully this will help me to relax and accept all the blessings coming my way.
Tah tah for now, oh my gosh, I hope I can shut my brain off...I guess I'll be back if I can't...
Labels: Random Crap